Yard Sale = Postponed

Shocker, I know. Only this time, there are good reasons … and they don’t include my procrastinating to the point of failure. On the contrary, I did manage to round up all of my trash that might some day be someone else’s treasure. It is all priced and sitting on my kitchen counter. Even the YARD SALE signs are made and ready to post on the neighboring telephone poles. Instead, late last night, I was reminded of a trifecta of reasons that the sale cannot go on this weekend:

  1. Poor Planning–you see, when I hastily set the date for this yard sale to force myself to keep minimizing all week, I failed to consult the calendar. Turns out we’re going out-of-town on Sunday … for a week. Can’t have a sale if I’m not going to be here, and I don’t know how I thought we were going to get ready for a week-long vacation while I was manning the sale out in the yard. There are suitcases to pack, laundry to do, trash to take out, toilets to bleach, snacks to be shopped for, and emails that have to be sent. Having a Yard Sale today would be adding insult to injury, pointed out my husband, as he limped in from his softball game last night and saw me standing in the garage waiting for his help to set up the tables and hang a dowel in the garage …
  2. Near-miss with the ER–at one point as I was climbing over boxes in the garage, I must have twisted or lifted something a little funny, because I had this unidentified pain rip through my abdomen like a shooting star. Then it hurt to walk. And my belly was tender to the touch. Naturally, I consulted WebMD, and it told me to see a doctor immediately. So, I laid down on the couch to weigh my options. I could lie on the couch and hope the pain would subside, while risking internal explosion and bleeding out. Or, I could make my way to the local ER and most likely die from a complication unrelated to my abdomen. Or, I could go sit in the ferry line for a few hours hoping not to pass out from my internal hemorrhaging before I got to the hospital over in “America”. I opted for option one, lying perfectly still and taking shallow breaths, as it hurt just to breathe deeply. In the end, I’m not sure what actually happened, but I am sure I’m not lifting any heavy boxes today in order to set up for a Yard Sale.
  3. Woods factor–As I was standing in the driveway (lined with a row of trees that remind me of something out of the Blair Witch Project), it dawned on me that we do not live in a neighborhood anymore. We live in the woods. At the end of a long driveway. With no neighbors within hearing distance of my blood-curdling screams. And, since my husband has to work today, the thought of sitting here all alone, with my two young children, inviting crazies onto our property was a less-than-promising prospect. Lame, I know. Since the crime rate on this island is like .00001%. But still …

So, instead, we’ve looked at the calendar and set a realistic date … Labor Day Weekend. Watch out world. We’ll have a lot to offer then … because as I was lying in bed this morning justifying to myself how I was going to write this post and let you all down … I thought of the items that have not yet landed in the Yard Sale pile, but don’t belong in the Keep pile either. So, I need your help … what to do with the:

  • High school Letterman’s jacket. It is never going to be worn again. As I tossed it aside, my husband said–“Don’t get rid of that. When I was a kid I loved to look at that kind of thing … the kids will really appreciate it some day.” What do you think?
  • Wedding dress. I don’t have any illusions of my daughter wearing my wedding dress someday. In fact, I hope she decides to follow her free spirit and get married barefoot on a black sand beach in Bali or somewhere equally exotic and romantic. Not that my Irish Catholic wedding with a 20-person wedding party and 300 of our closest friends was not what I had always dreamed of … it was. Absolutely. But I didn’t have the princess experience of growing up looking at my mother’s wedding dress and imagining my dream wedding … my mom got married in a purple velour dress, and there is only one photo to prove it. And I love it, because somewhere deep in my soul, I am a product of two hippies who met and fell in love in Montana in the 1970s. What is cooler than that? The point is this … I need your input … is looking at your mother’s wedding dress such a treasured memory that it is worth my keeping it just for my daughter to have that experience, or can I pass it along now?
  • Foot Massager. I’m not talking about just any foot massager. I’m talking about the high-end kind that both massages and squeezes your feet, and your calves … all the way up to your knees. The kind my husband visits at the mall every year during Christmas shopping season and claims he would be a new man if he had one of those (ridiculously expensive) foot massagers. So, I bought it for him. For Christmas. Of 2009. He used it twice. Before he discovered that his massively muscular calves were too big for it, and it was literally bruising his leg. What to do with this contraption that sits, unused, in the closet? Logic tells me to sell it. But economics tell me I can’t get enough money out of it to make selling it more valuable than using it once a year. Maybe I’ll go drag it out and make it my daily ritual … place feet in massager while I write my blog posts. That sounds like a good experience to me …

So, here we are … with more problems than solutions. Time for a vacation …


About Not-so-SuperMomma

See my previous blog at www.theminimalchallenge.wordpress.com to learn about how I used to be a SuperMom ...
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4 Responses to Yard Sale = Postponed

  1. Connie Paetz says:

    Located your site via google the other day and absolutely think its great. Carry on the truly great work.

  2. Pingback: Cat or Carcinogens? That is the Question. | The Minimal Challenge

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  4. Pingback: Keepers | The Minimal Challenge

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