You might know that I’m trying to minimize junk mail. I’d prefer to minimize it *before* it reaches my mailbox, but once it gets here, I’m doing my best to minimize it before it finds its way into a stack on my counter that soon becomes a pile. Then a mountain. Then a nightmare.
However, I have to be careful. I’ve been known to just toss junk-looking envelopes in the recycling bin, only for my husband to go dumpster diving and find windfall checks–refunds from class action law suits on cell phones we haven’t had for five years, or rebates from manufacturers that I didn’t know we had submitted. So, now I actually open junk-ish looking envelopes to be sure I’m not throwing away my future, if you will.
Well, today, it just so happens that our junk mail was specifically about just that … our future. In fact, it was a very nice envelope. It felt like a wedding invitation … heavy linen stock with a nice texture. It was addressed to my husband in a fancy scrolling font and did not have a return address. Since wedding season is right around the corner, and our calendar is already filling up, I thought I should open it.
Not so much a wedding invitation as an invitation from a crematorium. Encouraging my husband to plan his cremation services in advance. Pre-paid cremation, they’re offering. At a business located several hours away from our little island. Presumably, they’re encouraging my husband to arrange for his dead body to be hauled off of this island, cremated, and returned to his family as ashes at an unspecified date in the (VERY FAR) future, for the bargain price of today’s cremation services.
I’m going to set aside the *willies* that traveled up my spine when considering coping with my YOUNG husband’s untimely demise, and ask a few simple questions …
Are crematorium’s really so hard-up for business that they’ve taken to marketing via direct mail to THIRTY-SOMETHINGS? Are people not dying at a regular rate these days? And where did they get their mailing list?
That’s just about enough of that. I’d like to rewind and minimize that whole experience. Needless to say, this particular crematorium will not be gaining our business.