My husband physically cringes when I walk into a room with that “I’m about to prove a point. At your expense.” look on my face. I can’t honestly say I know what this so-called “face” looks like, but apparently I have it nailed. According to my husband.
So, when I walked into the garage where he was sorting the recycling with a crushed can of Diet Cherry Cola in my hand, he froze mid-sort and grumbled “what now?”
Such a defeating greeting to what should be a celebratory moment of victory!
A few minutes earlier, I had one of those epiphanies where everything fell perfectly into place and I got to sit back and revel in the pure joy of the experience.
See … we’ve had this clogged sink drain. For a few months. It’s been a minor problem on our list of priorities given the moat in our back yard, the burned-out sump pump that had been running for about six months straight–resulting in a flooded crawl space, the broken washing machine that can no longer manage our hard water, the septic alarm has been sounding for weeks, and the fact that our unending rainfall is likely contaminated with nuclear waste. (Did I mention that our house is for sale? With all-natural water features?)
So, back to the sink. In the bathroom. Where my husband shaves. I’m not saying I know the cause of this drain clog. I’m just saying that we could probably figure it out by process of elimination given that the kids use the upstairs bathroom and I don’t shave in the sink. But, here we are with a clogged drain. The other day when I actually had the wherewithal to make a list before wandering aimlessly around the store, I remembered to grab a bottle of Drano to dump down the drain. Yes. It caused inner turmoil as I failed to practice what I preach, given this is my anti-chemical month and all. But, I mustered up the courage to open the bottle and dump half of it down the drain. Waited for 15 minutes and then flushed it with hot water. Still clogged. So, I dumped the rest of the vile chemical down the drain and waited. And waited. And waited. Ran some more water. Still clogged. And the sink is now filthy.
That’s when the epiphany struck. Like lightning. (Which would be all I really need right now in addition to my
flooding water feature issue.) I remember reading some random article years ago. Probably in a health-food magazine or something. It said that one of the world’s leading Colas is so loaded with chemicals that it can unclog a drain. Gross, I thought. And then figured they really meant it was the carbonation that unclogged the drain, and went on with my life. But today, I couldn’t handle the drain. Neither could the Drano. (Which comes with a money-back guarantee, by the way … had I saved the receipt.)
So, I went to the ‘fridge, grabbed a Diet Cherry Cola and dumped it down the drain. Magic! Clear drain!
That’s when I ran to the garage to tell my husband the good news. And recycle the cola can. It will come as no surprise to you that he dis-believed me. So, he had to go to the sink to check for himself. Then, he proceeded to go get the rest of the 12-pack out of the refrigerator and dump them down our shower drain.
At this point I can’t honestly tell you which chemicals are more toxic … the Drano or the Cola. But I can tell you that there are no longer any of either in this house. Check. And double-check.